Some artists really put the ‘sin’ in singing.
“Bad Man” ~ John Cena
Maybe John Cena has taken one too many punches to the head, or he suffers from a serious case of unwarranted self-importance. Either way, he cannot be excused for unleashing on the unsuspecting public such indefatigable insanity. Clearly, his personification of being a ‘bad man’ would make even the average terra-poricki feel like Rajnikant. If you think this analogy is a bit far-fetched, try listening to Cena’s attempts to establish street cred, as he gloats about roaming the mean streets of suburbia, threatening people with his bitchin’ rhymes. Future English teachers may even consider using the lyrics here as a sample for students to spot out and distinguish between various literary features. Subtlety and understatement being some of them, but certainly not irony.
“Y’all are lost for words like conversation on your worst first date”
“Punchlines – man, don’t even beg
I got knee-slappin tracks, y’all brusin your leg”
“I solve you, 357 long nose revolve you
Acid in your face, bad look, dissolve you”
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“Wish you were here” ~ Avril Lavigne
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“Vertigo” ~ U2
“WooAAooo! WooAAoo! WooAAoo!”
“Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah… “
At this point, even the Yeah Yeah Yeahs might consider filing a lawsuit – but Bono could probably afford better lawyers, thanks to the money they’ve made from receiving massive airplay… priceless, isn’t it?
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“Fly Away” ~ Lenny Kravitz
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Other (dis)Honorable mentions:
“Speak” ~ Lindsay Lohan
Anything by U2 from “How To Dismantle An Atomic Bomb” (they really shouldn’t have, in this case)
The list would go on, but I’d rather not. Because I will have manic episodes of depression for having rooted for such tripe myself, back in the day.
Cyd The Squyd is manically depressed as he writes this. Send him flowers Here.
