And here are the videos again. Since we’re such democrats, we can’t help opinionating on them.

MINDLESS BEHAVIOUR FEAT. DIGGY SIMMONS – MRS RIGHT

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Mindless, mindless, mindless. Well, at least, they don’t have a misleading name. Everything else about them is still up for discussion;

• Are they little boys or little girls? 
• Is that music hip-hop, or just plain crap? 
• And are these the kinds of kids we’re going to have put up with in the future? 

It could be the single most convincing argument in favour of contraception. 

Ray Ray, Princeton, Roc Royal and Prodigy, the teenaged members of Mindless Behaviour – henceforth referred to as “Retarded” for convenience – must be pretty chuffed with themselves, since this debut album of theirs – Girl #1) has won them quite a bit of fame and acclaim. With “Retarded“, however, the side of them being telecast all over the web is abhorrent beyond belief.

There is something very annoying about pre-pubescent boys trying to woo women with that squeak in their voice. And it becomes exponentially worse when the aforementioned kids dress themselves up as little caricatures of Disco Stu the day he OD’ed on cocaine. 

Of course, if you’ve strangely looked forward to this video or are loathe to cut it short, it’s alright. Diggy Simmons comes through at the end with a little rap, which in itself isn’t anything great. But it at least puts the rest of “Retarded” in the background, bending and flinching behind a boy who sounds like a boy.

It’s a ten second reprieve to ease your blood.

LMFAO – SEXY AND I KNOW IT

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DJ Redfoo, LMFAO’s main man, lets his inner Grandmaster Flash run amok in this video. Yes, the goofy ‘fro is nothing on us, as Redfoo strides into the camera wearing glittery spandex. It’s weird, but you’re laughing your ass off already. So, I suppose, it’s par for the course.
 
Things, obviously, get crazier, once Redfoo decides to rip of the spandex to bare his Speedo. SkyBlu, the other one in the LMFAO line-up, watches from the curb in his bizarre faux-biker get-up. And we do too, as Redfoo and the rest of his thong-ed buddies break out into a junk-in-the-trunk jiggling routine, punctuated by the chorus, ‘Sexy and I know it’. And of course, he probably did it really well, since Ron Jeremy, porn industry’s very own Apollo, seems totally taken in by the act as part of his video guest appearance.
 
All hell breaks loose once Redfoo is challenged to a wiggle contest on a bartop; sort of like ‘Fight Club’, except, instead of beating the crap out of each other, these men try to outswing their thing. The crotch jerking mayhem rolls on wantonly, and by the end of the video Redfoo and his shiny skivvies are lost among, well, other shiny skivvies. 

ARCTIC MONKEYS – SUCK IT AND SEE

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There’s a lot of general goodwill thrust towards Arctic Monkeys, most because of their stellar first three albums. And we still love and respect them, although I’m not so sure about their slowly evolving American sensibilities. It’s inevitable, when most of your work happens there and your music is being recorded in Los Angeles. But the band seem acutely aware of this little change and queerly, seem to be intent on seeing it through.

Now, the only thing ‘Sheffield‘ about them is Alex Turner’s accent. 

The video for ‘Suck It and See’ is like a little meditation, set against the quintessence of Americana. Matt Helders even gets himself a swept-back, ’30s gangster look as he rummages with his (mostly) naked girlfriend, and the rest of the biker gang he’s supposed to be a part of. 

Classic imageries – like motels and rolling Mid-Western highways and bearded men on Harley Davidsons – works well with the generally nihilistic tone of the song.
 
Arctic Monkeys fans have given it the almighty thumbs-up, but it remains an ambigous step forward for the band. And right now, I’m not even questioning the punk-dissolving balladry that seems to have become their new thing in America.