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Why Am I Singing This?


Music spreads love, joy, sorrow. And madness. Some loopy songs that make you go loony.

These tracks have been unleashed onto airwaves in recent times. There is no proven form of protection against the lunacy that ensues once these thangz hit your ears. They spread into your system and sooner than later, you will be lapsing fiercely into refrains at the oddest times. Writing exams will never be the same with these numbers playing mercilessly in your head as you try to make up essay answers. The virus extends to mundane activities like listening to other’s heartache or standing squashed in a bus. All of these, now have an OST!

Super Bass – Nicki Minaj feat. Ester Dean

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Not sure what Dean lady does in the song, but it triggers all the suppressed mentalness in the average stressed out 21st century drone. Selena Gomez & Taylor Swift have even posted covers of this insane track that has just about anyone trying out the Minaj-isms. A suggestion on how to get her swagger:

Sing it like your mouth has been anaesthetized.

Rabiosa – Shakira

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Ok this song already warrants lingering (Who knew? Shakira can actually get hotter). But barring the video, Rabiosa has these grunts right after that will crop into your head at the worst of times. Infectious but SO….. wrong?! That wicked merengue beat cannot be played in my car in full blast cause knowing my luck, at the Chetpet signal where cars automatically give up moving, the song will conveniently be at its ‘UH UH’ place.

Incidentally, Rabiosa is Spanish for rabies. Shewolf and then rabies. Damn this sexy bitch.

S&M – Rihanna

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This song has annoying sprinkled generously throughout its four minutes.  Rihanna starts on a tone that will sound freakishly similar to Alvin being kicked in the groin. But all those monotonic responses to what I can only presume is S&M throb the inside of your head even after the earphones are out. This is what mental torture tapes are made of.

She brings in Britney in another version because the original was not scarring enough.

Whip My Hair – Willow Smith

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The fleeting period between hyperactive childhood and torrid adolescence is waning. Nine year olds have risen to the occasion. AND BOY DO THEY ANNOY! Willow Smith lets you know that her hair maybe in braids but she will whip it back and forth. Eight times. And after every chorus. Do the math if your mind can manage anything besides a panicky ‘whip my hair back & forth’ after this three-minute ordeal.

Blow – Ke$ha

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My theory: She sings the chorus open mouthed while staring at the unicorns that are auditioning for her next video. It is when you tirelessly try imitating this song that you realize the wily ways of (dare-I-say-it) Autotune. Chances are you sound like a kid riding a giant wheel for the first time in his life.
And I have to say it! Because, hello, its just screaming out to me! The song BLOWS. satisfied smile

But if you had to hand it to someone for consistent mind warps through maddening refrains, it has got to be Gaga. Aley aley aleyandro, pa pa pa poker  face and now its Joo daa joo du ha ha?

Lady Gaga manages to sneak into your head without you even realizing. A lot of people couldn’t say romance without going rom ma ma for a very long time. And don’t get me started on the effect it had on telephone conversations.

But hand it to these whack jobs for their subliminal creeping. After all music is a medium. And if it’s the medium to boggle, then gulp, so be it..?!

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