Ok, so you’re in love. Good.
Now, most people who know you and care for you and think they need to be part of your life are going to tell you a whole load of improbable nonsense about love and relationships and give you advice. This is terribly annoying, but it’s normal.
Remember, being Batman is the key to a woman’s heart. Are you Batman, eh?
For the most part, they’ll tell you how to be an ideal boyfriend (Be thoughtful and caring and sensitive and shave and have six packs and don’t look at other girls have lots of money no you don’t look fat in that dress honey don’t objectify don’t drink too much don’t smoke be funny stammer charmingly like Hugh Grant basically be gay but actually straight) or how to be an ideal girlfriend ( Actually, I have no idea what to put here, cause nobody’s ever talked to me about this, unless you count that one time in prison..Never mind. Where were we? Oh yes. If chick flicks are anything to go by, girls give each other unreasonable expectations from their respective boyfriends )
- Look for similarities in your past. Did you grow up listening to the same sort of music? What was your favourite song? This doesn’t necessarily gy have to be a sappy love song. It can be any song. But it has to be a cool song. (If you are unsure if a song is cool enough, contact us. We are experts.) You may just find that both of you loved the same song. Congratulations! Now you have “Your song” and you can be excited and be romantic when you hear it played in public places.
- Look for a song that you associate with a good memory- like that time both of you got chased by dogs while going for a romantic walk on the beach, and you heard “Show me the meaning” playing on a passing peanut-seller’s radio while fleeing. Pick your memory, slap on a song and there you have it.
- Write her a song. Yes, it sometimes comes down to that. Or at least pick your favourite song and rewrite the lyrics somewhat so she goes awww. Ladies, you may do likewise (Although if you’re dating a guy who can go “awww” on a regular basis, please come talk to me. There is something wrong.)
- You’ll discover it by a bizarre coincidence and the situation and the song will convince you that you are bound to be together for life. Do not panic if the song turns out to be something dreadfully ironic or gay or Lonely Island or all three. It is your song. Deal with it.
- Pick awesome song. (You have the freedom. We suggest the Beatles. They did some killer stuff. Something? Golden Slumbers? Falling?)
Fabricate romantic moment (Yes, you can do this. Romantic moments don’t magically happen unless you’re in a rom-com and the director’s got one Y chromosome too many) Now, play song during romantic moment. Play few more times to ensure that it registers in partner’s head. Follow up in a few days time by listening to it in a public place, leaning over and whispering “Remember?” holding hands, being gay and fixing song firmly in partner’s psyche.
Or be actually gay. That works too.
Why “Hey that’s our song” is awesome.
It gives you an excuse to be PDAish when it’s played when you’re out together.
- You can hum it under your breath as shorthand for lots of things (I’m sorry, I love you, I miss you, you’ve got lasagna in your teeth)
- You can set the mood with it. (Wine and candlelight and a bed suggestively strewn with rose petals can also help)
- If it’s a common song, it’ll make sure your significant other will think of you often. (Yes dear, with a face like that, these are things you must worry about. Sorry to be the person to break it to you.)
- It can make you smile. (Because really, you cannot smile enough)
Pictured: Not Enough
Now go ahead and find your song. All of you, who’ve already got your song, go ahead and be smug. And if you can think of another way for these newbies to discover their song, post it here.
Remember, you say it best when you say nothing at all.
You’re welcome.
Francis Thomas lives in Bombay and spends most of his time stalking girls with BSB playing loudly from his boombox. You can read his misadventures, Here.
