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Ten Love Songs that are not absolutely straight. – Part 2

Some songs can be sung by well oiled adonises with untrimmed chest hair and some songs can also be sung by score writers over ordered in cheese pizza. To finish we started yesterday, cheese pizza seemed appropriate. So appropriate in fact, it seems I may have slightly implemented that in this article with appetizing analogues. Read on to get hungry or constipated.

5. Seal – Kiss from a rose

Rating: Margherita(Single Cheese Topping) 

This was the OST for Batman Forever so we must not scoff at this song. While this song expresses Seal’s abysmal love for someone (much to the distaste of philophobes) it possesses the virtue of doing so with an appreciable subtlety. This song is also found on my going to sleep track list. I do wish Seal came out with more music like this, because I do love this song. Although I do not really know what ‘kissed by a rose on the grey’ means (do let me know if you have interpretations that are not bordering on racism), the song has other profound lyrics that I can understand. This song is an easy listen, and it’s worth it at least for that rhapsody like intro with Seal’s unique ‘paa-ee-aii’s.

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4. Lobo – I’d love you to want me

Rating: Cheese and Pepperoni Pizza

Cheese and pepperoni is a harmonious combination. Much like the music and the lyrics in this song. Slow paced and humble, this song is a pleasure to the ears. If I knew Lobo on the back of this song, it is probable that I would fall in love with him without being iffy about his not so good looks. If you haven’t heard this song, you ought to.

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3. Savage Garden –Truly, Madly, Deeply

Rating: Hyper-sweet Butterscotch mousse cake

Being serenaded by this song now would mean a world of pain. One because it’s so sickly sweet I could trigger asymptomatic, inherent diabetes. Two, because I would be convinced that every other line of this song is a blatant lie. Darren Hayes is a cutie and all, but I don’t see how he could be happy with bathing with someone in the sea and dancing with someone a mountain and staying that way forever. In his defense, he probably didn’t read or watch The Beach before to the release of this song in ’97. He would have hesitated undoubtedly in such case. Putting my cynical thoughts aside, I’m sure Darren Hayes meant every word of this song. While listening to this song on occasion, (guilty) if I feel too overwhelmed by HAPPINESS, I listen to ‘I want you’ by Savage Garden which is one of my all time favourites from the 90s. It neutralizes that feeling. 

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2. Backstreet Boys – Quit playing games with my heart

Rating: Double Cheese Margherita 

So distraught do the backstreet boys sound in this song it makes us want to go out and hug them and murder the biatches responsible. This song is painfully HAPPY, if you know what I mean. So sad do the boys feel, their video features them wasting away in the rain singing heart wrenchingly. On watching it you would think the video is also an audition to work at a HAPPY bar somewhere. They strip tease like it’s their shiz. Tune into 2:31 on this you tube video for the priceless expression on Aaron Carter’s face.

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Shamefully, I will admit that singing along to this song if it played around me. ( right now or instance)  It’s also a good song to sing at an embarrass-yourself-singing-heartbreaking-songs karaoke party. Plan one and try singing this song. Love is a battlefield has been overdone.

1. Donna Lewis – I love you (Always Forever)

Rating: Double Cheese Margherita with a cheese stuffed crust.

This is one of the first love songs I ever listened to. Whether that is unfortunate or fortunate, I’ll let you be the judge. Before you listen to it though, plug your headphones in. Unless of course, you want the people surrounding you to suffer from constipation. Yes this song has so much cheese one must be extremely tolerant to lactose to sit through it comfortably. This track is both lulling and soothing and there is no doubt that Lewis’ voice is the kicker. The lyrics are love stricken and slightly pathetic, but back in ’96 I’m assuming that this was considered most adorable. If you aren’t exactly looking for sensitizing your romantic side then listen to it just do cure your underlying insomnia. Guilty, this song is mainly on my going-to-sleep track list. Right beside #5. If you haven’t ever experienced insomnia, then your life is too peaceful to be healthy.  Become insomnia stricken and lend Donna your ears. She’s only made her mark with this song anyway. So you won’t need to do that very often from now on.

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When not listening to gay music, Preetha Sebastian is famous for talking about one hit wonders, and notorious for claiming that Creep was the last good thing by Radiohead.

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