Some songs which do to us what Tracy Jordan wants to do when he likes cornbread: take it behind a middle school and get it pregnant .
These are dark, smelly, and superheated times we live in. And what do you know; music is going to be our saviour. What you need is a certain kind of song playing in your head (or from the boombox your pet orangutan follows you everywhere with) while you go about attempting something reason would beg you to not even think about. Songs that make us feel invincible, even if we’re fecklessly running into a barrage of automatic fire. I’m talking about songs that should be playing in the background when you decide to throw yourself from the top of Mount Thor’s cliff, wearing only a fleecy purple tutu. Or try to beat Novak Djokovic this year, armed with a broom for a racquet.
So here I am, making yet another list, of songs that put the explosion in a Baghdad fleamarket. And as there are only five songs on this list, I urge you to fill up the comments section with songs that you think are the hotline to God Mode.
1. Voodoo Child (Slight Return) – Jimi Hendrix
The overlord of awesomeness unsurprisingly takes the top spot with this one. Everything that can be done with the electric guitar has been done here, more or less. And this song was apparently made in minutes, just because Jimi didn’t want to play Voodoo Chile again for a documentary filming session. The funky wah-wah intro, the insanely kickass riff. And then of course, Jimi screaming, ‘LORD KNOWS, I’m a Voodoo Child’.
And I haven’t even started on that solo.
(Also, check out Stevie Ray Vaughan’s cover of this song. He’s the closest anyone has gotten to the original.)
2. Any AC/DC song
I was going to put ‘T.N.T’ at number 2. Then I wanted to put ‘Shoot to Thrill’ in its place. Then I figured ‘Live Wire’ would be fitting. And so it went on – ‘Hells Bells’, ‘Night Prowler’, ‘Highway to Hell’, ‘Thunderstruck’, ‘Walk All Over You’…
There are some essential ingredients which give their songs this quality:
- Malcolm Young’s signature three/four chord intro.
- The rhythm section rolling like a freight train.
- Brian Johnson screaming like a witch on speed.
- Angus Young rip-roaring through a mad solo.
Once these come together, you can backflip your Mustang into an oncoming 18-wheeler.
3. Misfit Love – Queens of the Stone Age
This one is all cockiness and swagger laid out over a killer bassline and a killer-er riff. Joey Castillo(drums) swings like a mother****er, and Josh Homme, apart from being the coolest cat in rock ‘n roll right now, is the only one who can sing in a semi-falsetto(One track mind, no time to waste/Sidewalk, feel me strut so good) and still make it sound badass (hello Thom Yorke). And about a minute from the end, the song takes on a slightly sinister and hypnotic turn, and Josh signs off with:
‘Cause I’m already gone/ If you’ve bet on me you’ve won’.
Crank it up to 11 already.
4. Treat Me Like Your Mother – The Dead Weather
This one is for the ladies. Jack White thrashes about on his kit and Alison Mosshart howls over Fertita’s dirty synth riffs in her impossibly sexy and smoky voice in this track from their first album, Horehound. If you are a woman who can sing like that, please send us your contact info, so that we can tie a leash around our necks and land at your doorstep in a FedEx box and you can treat us any way you like. Coming back to the song, look out for the part where they bounce off each others’ vocals (‘M-A-N-I-P-U-L-A-T-E’). Madness.
5. Takeover – Jay-Z
And if you are the kind who wants to pop caps in your haters’ asses, look no further. Diss tracks are belted out by rappers faster than you can say ‘Sambhar’ but when Hova drops one, people take notice. Directed at his bitter enemy Nas (who came out with an equally scathing attack on Hova with his track Ether), he pulls no punches (Roc-A-Fella is the army, better yet the navy/Niggaz’ll kidnap your babies, spit at your lady/We bring: a knife to a fistfight, kill your drama/We’ll kill you mother***ing ants with a sledgehammer) and owns the beat with his trademark flow. Fans of The Doors note: Five to One has been sampled here.
Honourable mentions: Ace of Spades – Motorhead, Seven Nation Army – The White Stripes, Scumbag Blues – Them Crooked Vultures, Bulls on Parade – Rage Against the Machine, Don’t Speak (I Came to Make a BANG) – Eagles of Death Metal, Freedom Run – Kyuss, The Pot – Tool, Rock ‘n Roll – Led Zeppelin, Space Lord – Monster Magnet, Hammerhead – Jeff Beck, Toad (Live) – Cream, Welcome to the Terrordome – Public Enemy.
Raunaq Sahu is currently playing Prozac vs. Heroin in loop. You can also abuse him here if you want to.