Last Christmas, You gave them your heart, This Christmas, you want to rip them apart!
Some of the things synonymous with the cheery Christmas spirit are- Fat, in food and otherwise, red that blinds you, overly perky Christmas lovers just a carol and a suicide away from turning into addicts of whatever happy pill they’re on and Christmas songs which are shoved down your very being every time someone so much as breathes the C word.
Some Christmas songs are like children, you pop them out and they will stick to you for at least a decade or two. You’ll try, oh yes you will, to shake them off. You will leave them in malls ‘accidently’ or let strangers hold them while you bolt or leave them in slums pretending to teach a lesson on how the Shantaram lived. However, the minute you let your guard down, they’ll be back. But, I digress.
Here’s a sampling of the most overplayed Christmas songs which make you question the freedom of free speech in this world:
Last Christmas – George Michael
Last Christmas I gave you my heart
But the very next day, you gave it away.
*Cringe*
I love George Michael in all his gayness, literally and metaphorically. I loved this song too, once. But then, MTV played it, my shirtless neighbour who was more in love with George than me, played it, Malls with men wearing inflatable Santa suits played it, parties played it, and I died a little bit inside. But it’s been overplayed so much, that every time I see a people wearing red around Christmas I unconsciously start humming/ screaming (depending on the alcohol intake) it.
[youtube_video id=lzmwmfMqHxo]
Jingle Bell Rock- Bobby Helms
Once a song features in a Lindsey Lohan movie, you need to move to Korea, or manually try disabling your eardrums, because that song is never going to die. Ever. It will be played in every single teeny boppy channel, on billboards, at the facilities for hardened criminals.
[youtube_video id=oFsFntQBp9s]
All I Want For Christmas Is You – Mariah Carey
This song by the brilliant Mariah Carey was like the star on top of a Christmas tree. It was like magic, to be used sparingly when needed. But then, the music industry took it upon themselves to hammer it in like a log, into our heads. They hammered and hammered and hammered and hammered and hammered. Just Like I hammered ‘Hammered’ into you. Also, this song has a gem of a version with Mariah Carey and Justin Beiber, in which you can’t tell their voices apart.
[youtube_video id=fGFNmEOntFA]
Wonderful Christmastime – Paul McCartney
I would go chainsaw on Paul McCartney just for this song. Now, Christmas shopping is a lengthy affair taking a minimum of 4-5 hours. So every Christmas, malls and department stores take it as their personal duty to put Wonderful Christmastime on repeat. Cause hey! Why would people want to listen to anything else?! Preposterous. Or maybe it’s like a scam- Buy, or die listening to McCartney be obnoxiously cheery.
Simply having a wonderful Christmas time
Simply having a wonderful Christmas time
Argh.
[youtube_video id=V9BZDpni56Y]
Santa Claus Is Comin’ to Town – Jackson 5
Santa never came. Cause he heard this on the radio on the way and now all he wants to do is curl up in a ball with him blanket and cry for his mommy.
[youtube_video id=MiNkll4JSwo]
Let us know what Christmas songs make YOU want to break stuff.
