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Why Glam Metal Bands Get All The Women

Cause we’re not very different from flies you know. Give us something shiny, pretty and colorful and we’re a bunch of happy buzzers…

 We’ve always been a society of rules and uptight regulations. A society which has a certain image of how perfect men (and women) should look like – Women with petite waists and coiffeured hair and men with chiseled faces and chests as hard as washboards. Women should be fashionably dainty, while men break rocks and slap dirt on their wounds to make them better. YEAH.

But then the lovely 80s hit, and in the midst of all that smoke and neon lights, a bunch of surprisingly secure men decided to bring pelvic thrusts into fashion, all the while balancing a guitar on their hipbones. They also decided that they wanted to put on some mascara and dab on some rouge before stepping on the stage. This makes one wonder, just how can a bunch of grown-ass, straight men wear female clothing, put on make-up, perm their hair and still manage to pull off passionate songs about love and heartbreak?!. Like this one for instance:

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On the occasion of today being the birthday of two such glaring examples – Bret Michaels from Poison and Dee Snider from Twisted sister, let’s analyze just how in the name of saggy pants did these bands manage to get so many women? 

It’s our basic primal nature to get attracted by something which is different and shocking. These image-conscious men actually got inside the psyche of women and gave us what our subconscious really wanted. Something pretty and something that no one else has. They wore colored beads and spandex and introduced the women to some unbridled lust, thus becoming the guilty pleasure which no amount of normal men in bands could ever hope of competing with.

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Breaking free from the restrictive norms, this motley bunch of men weren’t afraid of shake things up a little. They took the shackles of subtlety binding a civilized society and threw it out of the window mockingly. Along with being bold and well dressed, their songs told the people exactly what they wanted without mincing words.

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Aerosmith was considered as one of the jump-starters of the Glam Rock bandwagon. Steven Tyler, with his red frilly jumpsuit was, as always, right ahead of his times. He grabbed the making love on the bed concept by it’s collar and threw in an elevator with a naked woman.

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Teenagers in the confines of their rooms got a whole new meaning of being a rebel. Glam Metal added a new dimension to David Bowie’s ‘Ziggy Stardust’. It gave birth to the confident male in tight leather pants, who had that dangerous and attractive air about him. Women everywhere heaved their bosoms at the sheer forbiddance of the situation. 

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It wasn’t all hunky-dory though. With their success, there came a bucketful of flak by the core rock-and-roll supporters. They were accused of defiling music with their ‘nancy’ ways and being too concerned with their looks to actually pay attention to making some quality tunes. But if you pay attention, the music isn’t half as bad. In fact it was one of the best eras for music and otherwise. All they did was to combine the music aspect with some good old fashioned drama and sequins, and who doesn’t love that. Also, we can all agree that they were the ones who got most of the action and all of the fun. 

Lipstick, anyone? 

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